The Windmills of the Gods!!

As an American reading the story of Vayu’s (the Indian God of wind) anger would express it “the wind was broken”. Vayu stopped all the breeze and wind on the earth. Eventually, and after the biding of the several of his peers, He forgave Lord Indra for assaulting Hanuman with the thunderbolt. When he finally restored the winds, in the process, the fart was born.

This adaptation from a mythological series raised several questions in my mind. I wonder what debates and controversies this can fuel from a la Rama Sene supremo

1. If mythology is to be believed, is the fart holy to the Hindus?
2. If the fart is indeed holy, is it blasphemy for non Hindus to indulge in farting?
3. Does a non-Hindu’s voluntary fart signal an allegiance to the Hindu religion. Should we exclude the involuntary squeaks from any religious connotations?

More pragmatic stuff, I could not help but ponder the fact that I have like several others, swallowed many a chewing gum accidentally. So, why does chewing gum behave differently when subjected to air pressure in the oral versus the rectal cavity? Does it have anything to do with the sun never shining there? I think if they designed new ones to behave consistently in either cavity, it would give a whole new meaning to the phrase “bubble butt”. And, make chewing gum loyalists the next hottest sex symbols.

It can be quite engaging to think and analyze if the God-given whistle has anything to do with the corporate term “whistleblower”. Is a whistleblower in reality a glorified victim of irritable bowel syndrome?

Here is a thought about a few random phrases like “gag order” and “airing opinion”. Airing opinions from a certain tongueless orifice can several times put a gag order on people in proximity. The intensity and duration of the “opinion” sometimes chokes and then drains the color from the cheeks. At this point, I was slowly but surely sensing my fellow traveler’s urge to shift his body weight on to one butt cheek. Suddenly, I recalled the Sanskrit proverb “nishabdam prana sankatam.” It was probably coined by an ancient diplomat who either endured from or subjected others to such gag orders or aired opinions as the case may be. It is said that history has a way of repeating itself. He was no Lord Indra, but I was sure the thunderbolt he was about to discharge was sure to again break the wind so it was time for me to scoot.

Gag-tch me if you can!!! And if not, then Gag-tch you later!!!