मुझे जीने दो!!

On a recent trip to Delhi, specific lines from some Hindi songs kept humming in my head। I dont know the complete lyrics yet... neverthless...my head went... alternating between

हम्म्म्म.. कतरा कतरा मिलती हैं कतरा कतरा जीने दो ज़िन्दगी हैं........

यह लम्हा फिलहाल जी लेने दे ...

Soon enough the creativity in me kicked in… first hazy and then as I kept tuning my thoughts and feelings here is what they shaped up to look like……

समझो इसे वक़्त की नज़ाकत
या मेहेज़ एक बेपनाह दिल की मोहोब्बत!
अरमानो का क्या हैं, कहियों को तो टूटने हैं,
कुछ को तो सवारोगे!

साँसों का सिलसला जब तक चलेगा
मन में एक मसला ज़रूर रहेगा
ज़िन्दगी के लम्हे युही कही औरो की तरह गुज़ारोगे
या फिर रंगों में ढाले जीकर, दिल का कहा मानोगे?

SPOT ON!!!! :) Love you Delhi!! Paharganj...Jahangirpuri....Citywalk........ Dont know if I love you so much DIAL... or do I love you the most?? coz while you took happiness away... you brought it in too . :)

What Drives Me?

What drives me? is it the insatiable hunger for smiles plastered on the faces of loved ones, and, occasionally even random strangers? Or, is it just what at the moment seems to be the most consolatory and conciliatory term… destiny!!??

It seems like my own little world is just flat and undulating, whether it ends in an abyss, I probably will only know on my way out. For now, I am convinced that it definitely isn’t round.. because what goes around isn’t what seems to be coming around!!!!

Its Grey.. neither red nor pink

The element of love has distinct hues. For commercial purposes, it is mostly rich crimson and/or pink depending on how you are oriented. In my case unfortunately all of it is in shades of grey.

It is odd, how oftentimes people you love don’t reciprocate. It is so like a river with a huge dam on it, a dam built on a very strong foundation of insecurities of course from nasty experiences. It floods what lies behind it, maybe in a desperate bid to obliterate all features that contributed to building it. For what lies beyond being parched and thirsty is what it is all about, because the dam when it was built, pronounced them as guilty without a trial. There are reasons, suggestions, denials, warnings, well wishing, and reprimands, and worst of the lot, remedies, a plenty. None of those can do an ounce of what a stray or purported trickle from the other side of the dam can.

The question is what is the break even point then? Is it that eternal wait until hoping that interest will eventually show signs of fertility? Or, is it when your heart has borne enough to make any semblance of love seem like your last wish?

Seven hills and an important lesson learnt

3800 holy steps… 8 kilometers…. 7 hills… I have heard, and thought a lot about the difficult choice of residence our God’s make.

On the contrary though, if it were not for that, I would not have realized the value of the hand that used to hold mine when I was panting for breath, and close to giving up each time I invited myself over to His abode. As I made that soul filling but lonely climb, I realized how important it is to be gifted with the faculty that can recognize both, the ability to give, and receive love.

My companions beat me on that hike by over 30 minutes, I arrived there late. With a heart that was thankful for all the love I have received, and been able to give.

Thank you God! Your ways are strange, but I think the presence of absence is the best teacher.. ironically though, but divinely..

Brilliantly Moonstruck

"..hung up... its all in your mind...."

They say, the mind is the most powerful of all creations... I cannot forget that dialogue from "Om Shanti Om"...

"agar tum sacche dil se kuch chaaho, to sarri kayanaat tumhe us se milane me jut jaati hain"

You are the moon in my universe
Brightest and steady among the many specks of sparkling light
One really has to go around you to realize there is more than the heart melting charm
There is another façade; withered because the sun failed to make it warm
As real as the shiny & pleasant visage, and its mesmerizing calm

Your aura transcends great distances, it is magical
To call you a mere light in darkness would be farcical
As I comprehend you little by little, I do feel
The darkness that surrounds you will never shroud your appeal

To possess the real but elusive you for even a fleeting moment I clamor
It is your inner beauty that struck me deep
I admit though, that I couldn’t get over your glamour
I tried to bask in the reflections you cast on placid waters
Clasped you in my palms, but you danced your way out on the ripples
Those moments have passed but I still remember the smiles and the sniffles

You are around at times bright and a sometimes a little less so
There are eclipses and days when you are a no show
Those are but little episodes, nevertheless, you are out there, that I know

Your brilliance belongs to you, not to any sun
If the sun shone all the time, there would be no darkness
But that was not to be for a good reasonIt is your shine that illuminates my heart, to me that is the foremost one

The Windmills of the Gods!!

As an American reading the story of Vayu’s (the Indian God of wind) anger would express it “the wind was broken”. Vayu stopped all the breeze and wind on the earth. Eventually, and after the biding of the several of his peers, He forgave Lord Indra for assaulting Hanuman with the thunderbolt. When he finally restored the winds, in the process, the fart was born.

This adaptation from a mythological series raised several questions in my mind. I wonder what debates and controversies this can fuel from a la Rama Sene supremo

1. If mythology is to be believed, is the fart holy to the Hindus?
2. If the fart is indeed holy, is it blasphemy for non Hindus to indulge in farting?
3. Does a non-Hindu’s voluntary fart signal an allegiance to the Hindu religion. Should we exclude the involuntary squeaks from any religious connotations?

More pragmatic stuff, I could not help but ponder the fact that I have like several others, swallowed many a chewing gum accidentally. So, why does chewing gum behave differently when subjected to air pressure in the oral versus the rectal cavity? Does it have anything to do with the sun never shining there? I think if they designed new ones to behave consistently in either cavity, it would give a whole new meaning to the phrase “bubble butt”. And, make chewing gum loyalists the next hottest sex symbols.

It can be quite engaging to think and analyze if the God-given whistle has anything to do with the corporate term “whistleblower”. Is a whistleblower in reality a glorified victim of irritable bowel syndrome?

Here is a thought about a few random phrases like “gag order” and “airing opinion”. Airing opinions from a certain tongueless orifice can several times put a gag order on people in proximity. The intensity and duration of the “opinion” sometimes chokes and then drains the color from the cheeks. At this point, I was slowly but surely sensing my fellow traveler’s urge to shift his body weight on to one butt cheek. Suddenly, I recalled the Sanskrit proverb “nishabdam prana sankatam.” It was probably coined by an ancient diplomat who either endured from or subjected others to such gag orders or aired opinions as the case may be. It is said that history has a way of repeating itself. He was no Lord Indra, but I was sure the thunderbolt he was about to discharge was sure to again break the wind so it was time for me to scoot.

Gag-tch me if you can!!! And if not, then Gag-tch you later!!!

Betty Cooper... I miss you.. :)

It wasn’t until much later after we had crossed over into Himachal that I realized I was seated very comfortably. The dawn of this ergonomic fact was partly because I had travelled several miles in the confines of similar mini buses, but this time around something was surely very different.

On earlier occasions, my discomforts were owing to competition that could easily lay claim to an equal or more share of square inches on the 2 seat benches we generally occupied together, with me usually sitting on the aisle side. This in addition to always and invariably having the disadvantage of the competitions unfair claim being reinforced by the inner side walls of the vehicle for obvious reasons. As the cold and jolting began wearing me down, I realized “Wriggly” was besides me all along, and that was probably why I could park my now more than ample butt on that seat so comfortably. Wriggly’s rear fortunately was endowed to take up the entire depth of the seat instead of the width.

Things have changed since. Destiny and human effort conspired, and in the resulting arrangement, it was only appropriate that our comfort in discomfort came to an end. It seems like the poor and inconsequential bench, there are several other things that won’t be so obviously shared anymore.

I sat comfortably but missing a certain something through the tour. I questioned myself why did I not want to realize you weren’t one of the guys. I don’t know the answers, but now I can only on several say occasions “Betty Cooper.. I miss you.”